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Hi, sorry I haven't gotten many issues out
lately, but I am very busy. Not sure when I
will get back to a regular schedule, but
will do my best. Until then have a good time
and smile.
One girl was telling a friend over lunch
that she had given all her beaus pet names
that also served as a secret reminder of
their sexual talents. As luck would have
it, one passed by, and she called out,
"Hey, Johnny Walker. How's it going baby?"
Her friend said, "Say. I happen to know
that fellow, and his name is not Johnny
Walker at all. Johnny Walker is a liquor."
"Damn!!! You've broken my code that
quickly." said the girl.
Q. What do you say to a girl with no tits?
A. ?
Early to bed, early to
rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and in
demand.
Two eggs are boiling in a
saucepan, one is male the other female. The
female turns to the male and says
"Look, I've got a crack!"
The male turns to her and
says
"No point telling me,
I'm not hard yet!
Q. What do you call twelve
naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A. A scrotum pole!
Q. Why do they say that
eating yogurt and oysters will improve your
sex
life?
A. Because if you'll
eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
Over at Hillcrest Baptist
Medical Center late yesterday was a lady
who'd swallowed a super Gillette razor
blade.
As she sat awaiting her
ride she said her doctor discovered that not
only had she given herself a tonsillectomy,
an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but
also castrated her husband, circumcised her
lover, taken two fingers off a casual
acquaintance, given her vicar a hair lip and
there was still 5 shaves left!
Jump to
music player
So my dad was having
"that" conversation with me when I was about
12 or 13.
He said that if you
masturbate you’ll go blind.
I said, "I’m over here,
Dad"
Q: What do you call a
prostitute with her hand in her panties?
A: Self employed.
Jack and Mike are at the
bar discussing their wives.
"Why do women always want
to talk during sex?" asks Jack.
"My wife always says that
feels so good. Does it feel good to you?"
It feels good to me. How
does it feel to you?"
"Yeah" says Mike. "I
know what you mean. My wife always asks
those questions too."
"Well this time I finally
gave her some answers. I said, do you wanna
talk, or do you wanna screw?"
If you'll let me
finish, I'll write a 3-page report for you
when we're done."
Researchers at Johns Hopkins University have
discovered that the impotence drug Viagra
may also be effective in treating
indigestion caused by long-term diabetes.
You may still have
indigestion, but with that two-hour erection
you won't even care.
Q. Why do Italians hate
Jehovah's Witnesses?
A. Italians hate ALL
witnesses.
15)
I Know You Done Your Sister Last Summer
14)
Turn Her and Hooch
13)
Urban Cow, Boy!
12)
Debbie Does Dullards
11)
I Am Curious, Ol' Yeller
10)
9 1/2 Teeth
9)
The Silence of the Sheep (God Willing)
8)
Nasty NASCAR Nimphama--, uh, Nymfama--, uh,
Crazy Nekkid Gals!
7)
Deep Goat
6)
Crouchin' Brother, His'n Sister
5)
Auntie Get Your Gums
4)
The Girl Who Could Not Run Faster Than Her
Brothers
3)
Behind the Green Teeth
2)
Bob and Carol and Bessie and Babe
1)
Three Men and a Beatty
During his monthly visit
to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked
his barber for any suggestions on how to
treat his increasing baldness.
After a brief pause, the
barber leaned over and confided that the
best thing he'd come across was, er, female
juices.
"But you're balder than I
am," protested the customer.
"True," admitted the
barber,
"but you've gotta admit
I've got one hell of a moustache!"
Scientists have developed
a new pill that will now help impotent men
who are also hay fever sufferers. By
combining Allegra to take care of the
allergies, and Viagra for the impotency, it
gives you an erection not to be sneezed at!
How are fat girls and
mopeds alike?
They're both fun to
ride until your friends find out.
Why do gay men wear ribbed
condoms?
For better traction in
the mud.
According to "Men's
Health" magazine, 71% of men feel their dog
understands them at some telepathic level.
That's because men and dogs have the same
interests --- eat, sleep, play ball, and
hump !
A Guy and girl meet at the
bar and are instantly attracted to each
other. They Party all night, and at the end
decide to go back to his place to continue.
Once there, they get passionate and start to
make out. When the time is right, the girl
finds the bedroom, gets undressed and gets
under the covers, waiting for the guy who is
now coming out of the bathroom.
The guy walks in starts to
undress and stops with just his shorts on.
He reaches into his pants pocket, pulls out
a magic marker and hands it to her.
She takes one look at it
an says, "What's this for? Are you some
kinda pervert?"
He looks at her, drops his
shorts and smiles kinda sexy.
She smiles, her eyes now
wide open and staring in disbelief at his
johnson which hangs more that halfway to his
knees.
He breaks her spell by
saying,
"Your gonna have to
draw a line somewhere, baby."
What's the difference
between a ritz cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other a crack
snacker!
Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to the heater, everytime it
turned around, it burnt it's little peter.
Q: How are women like snow
flakes???
A: They are all
beautiful. They are all different. They can
be cold as ice. But they'll all melt "when
they land on your face"..
These two poor kids go to
a birthday party at a rich kid's house. The
kid is so rich that he has his own swimming
pool and all the kids go in. As they're
changing afterwards, one of the poor kids
says to the other one, "Did you notice how
small the rich kids' penises were?"
"Yeah," says his mate,
"It's probably because
they've got toys to play with."
Jump to
music player
You know what I say about edible panties?
I say if you're drunk enough, and your teeth
are sharp enough, EVERY panty is edible.
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: Two, but how did they get in there?
An old widow and widower named Mary, and
Steve get married. They are up there in age,
and the romance, engagement and marriage was
quick.
They hoped they had enough strength to live
through their wedding day and night.
After the marriage ceremony, they retire to
a nearby hotel. Both are very nervous.
Cautiously they begin to undress in front of
each other. In the process, Mary, the old
woman, removes her false teeth and puts them
in a glass.
Mary then removes her prosthetic leg and
leans it against the wall. She looks up at
her new groom and smiles nervously, and
Steve is intently watching.
Mary continues. She removes her bra which
contains false inserts; she removes a glass
eye and gingerly places it in a special box
on the nightstand. Again she shyly smiles at
her aged spouse, and Steve continues to
stare in an interested manner.
As Mary takes off her wig, she realizes that
Steve is not making much progress in getting
undressed.
He's stopped undressing and is just staring
at her.
She asks him, "What are you waiting for?"
Steve quickly replies, "You know what I
want.
Take it off and throw it over here!"
LMAO
BECAUSE OF THE RECENT TERRORIST ACTIVITY,
IT IS PRUDENT FOR SECURITY REASONS TO HAVE A
MUSLIM NAME.
SO .. FROM NOW ON.
PLEASE CALL ME BY MY NEW MUSLIM NAME .
SELDOM BIN LAYED
Ma and Pa are sitting on the front porch
swing, rocking.
Pa says to Ma, "Screw you, Ma."
A minute goes by, and Ma says to Pa, "Screw
you, Pa."
Again, a minute goes by, and Pa says to Ma,
"Screw you, Ma."
Another minute goes by, and Ma says to Pa,
"Screw you, Pa."
Yet another minute goes by, and Pa says to
Ma, "Screw you, Ma."
A minute later, Ma says to Pa, "Screw you,
Pa."
A couple of minutes go by, and Pa says to
Ma, "I don't know
about you, Ma, but I just don't get too much
out of this oral sex stuff!"
A company called Castaway Travel is now
offering an all-nude vacation to Mexico
which they say starts with a nude airline
flight.
Well, that should speed things up at
security
A knockout blonde, waiting by the first tee
at the Hollybrook Golf and Tennis Club for
her lesson from the golf pro, watched a
foursome of senior men tee off.
The first man hit it 230 yards, straight
down the middle of the fairway.
"Nice shot," said the blonde.
"Not bad, considering my impediment,"
replied the golfer.
"What do you mean?"
"I have a glass eye."
"I don't believe you," said the blonde.
"Show me."
He popped out his glass eye and showed it to
her.
The second golfer hit it 240 yards, straight
down the middle of the fairway.
"Good shot," said the blonde.
"Not bad, considering my impediment,"
replied the second golfer.
"You, too?" said the blonde. "What's wrong
with you?"
"I have a prosthetic arm," said the golfer.
"I don't believe you," said the blonde.
"Show me."
So he screwed off his arm and showed it to
her.
The third golfer hit a 250-yard drive down
the middle.
"Great shot," said the blonde.
"Not bad, considering my impediment."
"Another? What's your impediment?"
"Prosthetic leg," said the golfer.
"No way," said the blonde. "Show me."
So the golfer screwed off his leg and showed
it to her.
The fourth golfer hit a beauty, 260 yards,
straight as a string. "Now that's a shot,"
said the blonde. "I suppose you have an
impediment, too?"
"Yep," said the golfer. "Artificial heart."
"What? I don't believe you! Show me."
"I can't show you here in the open," he
said. "Let's go over there, behind the Pro
Shop."
They did, but when they hadn't returned
after fifteen minutes, his partners peered
around behind the Pro Shop to see what was
keeping him. And there he was -- screwing
his heart out.
oooooooooooooooo no
Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you
can blow me up.
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can
see myself in them.
If you were a car door I would slam you all
night long.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the
only ten I see!
I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need
is U.
So do ya wanna see something really swell?
I've seem to have lost my number, can I have
yours?
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the
best a man can get
Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the
bomb!
Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine
written all over you
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/barestory.shtml
http://www.link-through.com/new_car_road_signs/
http://www.nutgal.100megsdns.com/cartoon/animal.jpg
http://www.footlonghotdog.net/200106/1_sexoff.jpg
You Don't Smell Like Flowers Anymore
www.sexygames.dk
http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/rake_bush4.html
http://pi.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/snow.html
( Write your own message in the snow )
Hope you had
a good time Tribe and see you next issue.
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