Hello tribe....How have ya'll been? Sending smiles your way.....enjoy!
 

There's Nothing Like Good Music, Wine,
A Good Meal And A Naughty Lady.

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Campfire video and audio added.

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A man goes into the unemployment office in Los Angeles to look at job openings on the bulletin board. Since there aren't many jobs it doesn't take him long.

Just as he's on his way out, he spots something.

"Wanted," the sign says,

"single man, willing to travel, must have own scissors,

$500 per day, guaranteed, plus company car and all expenses."

Well, it sounds too kick ass to be true, but he makes a note and walks up to the counter.

"I'd like to apply for this job," he says, "reference number E/784/B46."

"Oh, that one," says the clerk.

"It's a model agency right here in Los Angeles. They're looking for a pubic hair trimmer. The agency supplies girls who model underwear and bathing suits. Before they go on the catwalk, they'd report to you and you would inspect them carefully and snip off any wisps of pubic hair showing. It pays well, but there are a few drawbacks.

It involves quite a lot of travel. The Bahamas, Tahiti, Paris, London... that sort of thing and you have to get used to expense account living in first-class hotels."

"I reckon I could learn to live with all that," says the fellow. "I'd really like to apply for the job."

The clerk shrugs and says,

"OK, here's an application form and a bus ticket to Fresno."

"Fresno? What do I wanna go to Fresno for?"

"Well," says the clerk, "that's where the end of the application line is at the moment!"

Two elderly ladies are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas, and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.

The ladies are totally fascinated. Finally, one of the women just can't bear it any longer and she reaches into the cage to touch it.

Suddenly, the gorilla grabs her, drags her into the cage and mates with her for six hours non-stop.

When he's done, the gorilla throws the woman back out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the woman is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later her friend visits her and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"Am I hurt?" she answers. "Am I hurt? Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written.

EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

Sign of the Times

"President Bush said I wish I could wave a magic wand and lower gas prices. And then he said I wish I could wave a magic wand and bring the troops home. And he said I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix health care. And I was thinking this guy waves his wand more than Clinton." --David Letterman

The little boy came into the bathroom while his mother was taking a shower.

He asked, "Mommy what's that between your legs?"

She told him that was her squirrel.

Later that day he was in the bathroom again while grandma was taking a shower and he asked,

"Grandma what's that between your legs?"

She replied, "That's my squirrel."

The little boy said,

"Mommy has one too, but hers is not as gray as yours."

Grandma replied, "Well, your mommy's squirrel hasn't cracked as many nuts as mine has!"

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.

Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.

" What's wrong?" asked the mother.

"I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.

"Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out."
Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears.
"It's okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened... you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog."

Little Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice:

"Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I'll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare."

Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. The night of the play it was his turn to speak. This is what he said:

"Hark! A pigeon shit! There lies a lady with soap in her hole. I think I'll kiss her snatch and run into the forest. By William Snakeshit... Horseshit... Oh, shit! I didn't want to be in this damn play anyway!"

YOU might be a Redneck if...

Your own mother testified against you in divorce court.

You've broken a speed limit in reverse.

You consider your softball uniform "dressy-casual."

Your son is named for your favorite pro wrestler.

You think "airing your dirty laundry" means walking to work.

Your doctor prescribes moonshine as a painkiller.

Your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

Your outdoor light used to be in a mall parking lot.

You play strip poker at family reunions

What do deer and women have in common?

The hornier the better!

Jill meets Nadine for lunch. "You're looking very tired today, Nadine. Did you have a late night?"

"Yes," replies Nadine, "but it was all very strange. While doing some gardening yesterday, I found a lamp, so I rubbed it and out popped a genie. He gave me a choice of two wishes."

"Wow," says Jill, "so what were the choices he gave you, Nadine?"

"He said he could either give me an excellent, sharp, 100% memory or else he could give my boyfriend a bigger penis."

"So tell me already, Nadine, what did you choose?"

"I can't remember," replies Nadine.

Nursery Rhymes for the Wicked.

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

Now I ask you ladies out there. Would you shoot your pig?

Hell I would be making sure that sucker stayed well fed and lived a long and happy life.

I never listened to Mary anyway. She's a fruitcake.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........ She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

The Top 10 Personalized License Plates to Impress the Opposite Sex

and the Number 1 Personalized License Plate to Impress the Opposite Sex...

OWNHAIR

Funny Bush Video

Large file but worth the wait LOL

Fake Weenie

Jump to top.

Greg was explaining the facts of life to his teenage nephew. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of lovemaking. "

One thing to keep in mind is that different women say different things during the sex act, even if you are doing the same thing."

"What do you mean, Uncle Greg?"

Well, for example, their words will vary according to their occupation.

For example, a prostitute will tend to say,

"Are you done yet?"

On the other hand, a nymphomaniac will ask,

"Are you done already?"

"What do other women say?"

Well, a schoolteacher will say,

"We are going to do this over and over again until you get it right!"

A nurse will say,

"This won't hurt one bit."

I thought they said,

"Pull down your pants and bend over."

That's a male nurse. But let's move on, a bank teller will say,

"Substantial penalty for early withdrawal."

A stewardess will say,

"Place this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally."

"And what does Aunty Kel

"She says, "Beige ... beige... I think we should paint the ceiling beige."

Ah, how times change eh ladies?

Don't X yourself out. Use the back button to return here.

Don't Look Good Naked

http://www.goodolddogs2.com/older.html

I Don't Want to Say She's Easy
http://wwer.com/w/RCID.htm

 (LOL)

Body Miniatures
http://www.webbyen.dk/vishjemmeside_privat.asp?mode=top_frame&id=163988&side=&webside=1904540

What does she really want with me?
http://users.pandora.be/vansina/mwomenneedmen.html

(Does this happen to you guys a lot? )

Bear Greeting LOL
http://www.funny-pictures.com/ecards/bear/?cardurl=1.html&title=Click%20the%20Bear

Male and Female Orgasms
http://viral.lycos.co.uk/attachments/3939/Orgasmic_Simulator2.htm

(Stay with it to the end)
 

What's the difference between a Blond and a Mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Just how fat is Yo mama?

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side!

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Until next time.........keep smiling........
Trish